1 2 3 Social Anxietea! Grab a tea, lets talk about doing scary stuff!
Welcome to another lesson that Jade read on the internet and realised that other people do this as well!
This is called, 1 2 3 f&%k it.
It is pretty self explanatory if I am honest. Overcoming fear is fundamental to happiness but it is also a stressful process. We have talked about how you just have to feel the fear and do it anyway so here is how we Do it anyway!
When you are out with people and it is terrifying, like you have to talk to people, it's scary, it sucks. *Ghost Jade sits in a corner avoiding people*
But a lot of other people are feeling the exact same, they are just waiting for someone to start the conversation and find common ground, that could be you! You could save them from their socially anxious coma.
This is how I do it.
Inhale
Count to 1
Count to 2
Count to 3
Whisper “Fuck It” what have I got to lose?
Exhale
Say something to someone, it's awkward and scary and weird but hey, it's over. Then they either respond and hey, it isn’t quite so scary. With practice you get better at it but it is a great system that helps me deal in social situations. Having a preset conversation opener helps as well.
Inhale
1
2
3
Fuck it.
“Oh hey I love your dress, where is it from?”
Open on a sincere compliment, if people don’t like you for that, you don’t wanna be talking to them anyway. Even if you fail (and we love failing), shoot for the moon, land in the stars! Sure you didn’t start a conversation but you tried something scary and you overcame it.
We live in a world where battle wins like that aren’t celebrated enough. You answered the phone, THAT'S AMAZING! You asked someone out to coffee even though you wanted to throw up, OUTSTANDING! Every time you try something, succeed or not, it is always a win.
You either win or you learn. Just don’t beat yourself up, try again and again until it isn’t scary anymore and that my friend, is how you deal.
This isn’t just for social interactions, this can be for having really hard discussions with people you love.
Do you know what I hate? Serious conversations with partners. *Ghost Jade throws a doughnut at a picture frame* This system is extremely helpful because it ends up being more like a huff.
Inhale
1 2 3
HUFF
Partner “What do you need to say? Spit it out”
Which prompts the conversation to start and if they don’t start it, I blurt out something just to get the train rolling. Leaving the station is the hardest part of a train journey, it requires the most energy. Once it's in motion, momentum takes over and it takes less fuel to keep it going.
If you really do struggle communicating how you feel or feel awkward speaking to people in general, this works for me and I hope it works for you.