Entering your Villian Era is essential for all recovering people pleasers. This is not just parents, it is anyone who will always put others' needs above their own, to the point of self-destruction and self-sabotage. Remember, you are someone too and you deserve to have your needs met too.
We are people pleasers for various reasons but we aren’t here to discuss why you are a people pleaser, we are ready to enter into a new era of self-empowerment.
So my wonderful friend, let's talk about some of the cornerstones of the Villian Era and what you need to consider before announcing to the world on social media that this is your villain era and you will no longer be available to be taken advantage of.
Welcome to Ghost Jade unofficial Ted Talk on Confidence 101! This was a draft for a book I am still always updating!
I have not always been a confident person, in fact, I have been famously shy most of my life. Confidence was not born to me, I had to earn it or more specifically, learn it. I was that kid in school who would never put their hand up, even if I knew the answer because I strongly dislike attention. It always baffled me how people are seemingly born so confident, even if they aren’t like superheroes. I admire people who fight against the oppression of women's bodies with such a fierce passion. I am here writing this book because of people like Meghan Trainor and Lizzo, women who stood up confidently and defied society. That has always been my aspiration. For me to stand up against society with them and say, Actually No. You can’t take our happiness anymore, I won't let you take the dreams of these young people. They are under my protection now and I won't let you take their confidence like you stole mine.
1 2 3 Social Anxietea! Grab a tea, lets talk about doing scary stuff!
Welcome to another lesson that Jade read on the internet and realised that other people do this as well!
This is called, 1 2 3 f&%k it.
It is pretty self explanatory if I am honest. Overcoming fear is fundamental to happiness but it is also a stressful process. We have talked about how you just have to feel the fear and do it anyway so here is how we Do it anyway!
When you are out with people and it is terrifying, like you have to talk to people, it's scary, it sucks. *Ghost Jade sits in a corner avoiding people*
honest but that isn’t what we are here for! I want to explain my colour system to you!
I don’t know about you but since we were all raised to live in a society where expressing your feelings or emotions is taboo and frowned upon unless it's a mild complaint, you might have issues expressing how you feel.
*Ghost Jade nods profusely*
I am always astounded to find people who express how they feel so easily and abruptly, to everyone. I think it's a great quality because you will never catch me doing that. *Ghost Jade zips her lips*
Let’s talk about nudity because it is normal in some countries to be naked on the beach but not in others. Nudity has been highly sexualised and to be honest, we know where it comes from.
Can I hear the fellas hoot for a flash of a Victorian ladies ankle?
But you are here because actually, you don’t want to do this anymore. You don’t want to be a punching bag for the world. You know deep down in your soul you deserve better but years of being told you aren’t good enough, you don’t matter. Years of putting everyone else and their happiness first has left you feeling like you don’t deserve anything.
But my beautiful sunshine, you do. You are allowed to be happy, you are allowed to love yourself and you are allowed to take back. your power, live your best life and follow your dreams. You can do anything but right now I am sure it doesn’t feel like that because… where do you begin? Its like sitting alone in a massive pitch black dark room, you can’t see the doors or even which direction to take. It just feels overwhelming and isolating. But you aren’t alone, I am in the room with a large lantern to hand to you and this is it so here is your lantern, so you can get up and start searching for your way out.
I have struggled with this my whole life, bridging the gap between my pragmatic, goal getter, personal development soul and the draw I feel to spirituality and the lessons it brings.
There are so many of us out there and there isn’t a word for us, people who love spirituality a little but we also love lists, goal planning, targets, and traditional personal development. I am a very pragmatic person, I am not the sort of person who meditates and believes everything will just work out. I like steps. Taking actions and head butting my way to success.
Like we like spirituality but it often feels really overwhelming and nervous to talk about. I know for me, I was always so afraid to talk about it because I thought, people won’t take you seriously if you start spouting you like crystals and how clearing your chakras can improve life.
If you are looking actionationale ways to use things like candles and oils to help you alleviate the depression or anxiety you are feeling., you came to the right place. Well here are 4 ways you can use aromatherapy to help create a more positive reality for you!
I hear and say PRACTICE SELF LOVE a lot but to be honest, what does that even mean? How does one even do self love? Is it just vaguely complimenting myself and buying myself some flowers?
Self love isn’t about suddenly waking up and going on look, I am SO IN LOVE with myself, I am the best! It isn’t an on switch that you can just flick, it is a constant journey towards self acceptance and love. Which I find relieving! Don’t you think it’s a bit stressful with all these people saying OH I FOUND SELF LOVE and you are like how?? and they reply with oh I just do now or I just meditated and bought a candle and now I am in love with who I am. Cause I find that intimidating, like I am doing something wrong because I didn’t love myself, like there a lot of pressure to love yourself quickly and perfectly with no direction.
Let's start with the reality of the situation, we are all holding on to shit and not letting it go because how the fuck do we do that??
No one has every logically taught any of us how to let go of things, old relationships, trauma. Instead we sit and replay the what ifs and hurt over and over again, imagining future scenarios with relentless prepping so we don't get hurt again.
Letting go of the moment/ feelings that you are struggling with is different for everybody. We are all unique which means we grieve, process and feel differently. As a result, I can't write a step by step how to guide, you have to write one for yourself. So instead, I wrote a long list of alll the possible things you need to know and things you can do to help process your feelings so you can get back to feeling yourself again.
As humans, we are split into two primary sexes and many more genders and we have all these stereotypes in our heads on what we should be.
Men are these qualities: Strong, provider, adventurer.
Females are these qualities: Sensitive, emotional, caregiver.
To be a man you have to be strong, protector, emotionless and in control and to be a woman you have to be like a selfless caregiver, wise, emotional.
But what a unusual lie that was
Body Envy is a growing problem in our society. We see all these beautiful photoshopped impossible bodies in the media everyday and we can’t help but compare them to our own. With thousands of likes and society all going O M G Look how beautiful you are. Us normals with our beautiful bodies, can’t help but feel a little down. We can’t change society or other people, but we can change how we deal with it.
I talk about this a lot but I believe in eating health foods for your Mental Health. Not for weight loss or weight management, pure and simply, to help you be happy and keep on top of your mental health.
Crazy I know? I know because if I eat healthy and wholesome food that makes me feel good, I feel indestructible, beautiful and powerful. I also have more energy, easier to think positive and my skin is radiant. When you eat healthy, you glow.
Let’s chat about my super power, the power of gratitude. We are going to hit the ground running today because there is a lot to cover so we are starting with the bluntest truth of all.
Happiness, like gratitude is a choice.
We can choose to be grateful for everything that we have and a reason we don't express it as much as we should is because it is connected to self hate and our drive as humans to progress.
More of a lifestyle post, if you have a dry, itchy and flakey scalp, here is what I do after watching like a million youtube videos, learning all about scalp care and then creating a routine to reduce my itchiness and it worked! I hope it helps you should you also be struggling!
Fear is the biggest problem with the Covid19 pandemic, especially with the media and social media stirring the pot. This is my 4th pandemic, I grew up during SARS, Swine Flu and Bird Flu, I remember how it felt to wonder if at any point, I was going to just get this disease and die. Wash your hands, wear masks, avoid people.
Since everyone's situation is different, I have created a list for solo lockdowners, couples or older families and families with young children. Don’t feel like you need to be categorised, any of these activities could be for you! The most important thing is that you don’t spiral and you focus on being productive and mentally healthy.
Living with your partner is wonderful but living 24/7 is a different ballgame. The pressure of being around each other all the time can be extremely taxing and potentially relationship ending. Since the lockdown in China, divorces have spiked because living full time with their spouse was too much. This is a situation we would rather avoid so to combat this, here are the top things you need to do to help the transition to full time partner time.
Right now, the world is really uncertain and it can feel really scary. Shops are empty, a disease you can’t see or stop is spreading and there is nothing you can do to stop it. We may be able to slow the disease from spreading with social distancing and cleaning everything but I want to talk about a much bigger problem and that is your mental health, which is being decimated by this pandemic. Hopefully this article will help your anxiety while you are in Lockdown :)
How to stay sane during lockdown
Lockdown is coming and being locked in a house with the same people may drive you a little bit bonkers and play games with your mental health so here is an article on how to survive lockdown!
If anxiety is left unchecked, it can roam free and absolutely decimate your happiness. If you want to learn to not only control it, but defeat it, then you have to learn about it, what drives it, why it affects you. But for now, I have my top tips on how to handle it on a day to day.
These are my personal tips that I use day to day, they may not be relevant for everyone but they are what I do and they help me! So if you are a little like me, maybe they can help you too!
Welcome to The Grow Yourself Book Club
This is a safe space for you to breathe and say, you know what, I am not perfect and that is okay, I release the expectation of me and of others and I open myself up to growth and change.
I love to read and I love to read about growth. This is a short list because I learnt this very very important life lesson a long time ago. If you are going to read a book that helps you grow, it is better to read one author, pick them, study there work and implement it. Rather than read 20 books on the subject and do nothing with it.
Cyber bullying is an epidemic that we are all contributing too sub conciously. It is time for us all to take responsibility for the part we play in bullying other people online and stop blaming other people like trolls and the media. Don’t get me wrong, they lead the charge in being part of the problem. But we are all one some level responsible. It is time to make real lasting change and learn to be kind, even though we have been through so much.
Processing through your emotions is a hard one so I am going to do this series on processing through hard emotions.
The goal is to feel what you feel, accept it and let it go. Not to pretend it doesn't exist. We all know what happens when we ignore a child
1. It gets louder, starts screaming and it breaks things.
2. It gets depressed, feels lonely and becomes despondent.
3. They go to therapy 10 years later about their struggles and traumatic childhood.
I want to talk about our preconceptions about our bodies. How it affects our daily lives, relationships and is underhandedly, ruining our lives.
Growing up, to me I always dreamed of being skinny, like when I was a kid. Because to me, to be skinny is to:
What are flaws? They are qualities that we have that are bad. That stop us from being good people, that make us human. But do you have flaws at all or are you just incompatible with other people? And in being incompatible, how can you use this knowledge to better improve your relationships with everyone around you to create a more harmonious life.
Jade the introverts adventures through friendship and moving forward to create her dream life!
I want to talk to you about a recently change in my life. This is overtly obvious but I am a massive introvert, give me a book and a cabin and I am happy for years (as long as it was warm). For the past few years I have been pushing out of my shell to make new friends and expand my social circle outside of the ghost of my cat. I was making really good progress (as a traveler, I never made long term friends because they would be gone the next day so to make real connections with people was a big deal).
Hi squad,
I want to talk more about Instagram bullshit and culture and the comparison problems we all have. I try to keep my channel all about personal growth and healing and becoming happy but I still get bombarded with negativity and not from my feeds, I get to watch all of my amazing squad everyday be grateful for things and achieve goals and I love it all. But I also suffer from Instagram anxiety and its because I get Direct Ad targets. I used to love them, the algorithm knows exactly what type of shoes I like so shopping was so easy. But at the moment, I get BOMBARDED with ads saying things like:
Want to be successful? Here is the secret you are missing?
Is a competitive spirit actually hindering our growth? Affecting our self love? Ruining our mental health? Competition has always been good for pushing us to be the best versions of ourselves. Pushes us outside of our comfort zones. But how can it secretly been also ruining our mental health and making us feel unworthy and undervalued?
Does negatively judging someone make you a bad person?
Short answer, no. It doesn’t. As humans, we judge people, we are biologically programmed to do that, it's a survival instinct. Knowing that, I have never tried to be too hard on myself when I find myself judging someone because, we all judge and I know that is what causes a lot of mental health issues like paranoia and anxiety, you judge, therefore, you will judged.