I can't believe I have to actually write about this because it is a topic so close to my heart but also.. such common sense that it hurts me in my brain that people act this way. But I get it, it is human nature.
Let us get started with the recent not so earth shattering revelation that celebrities have feelings too. The recent suicide of Caroline Flack is a morbid example of how cyberbullying is once again, wreaking havoc on our mental health. Although I have never watched Love Island, I have never seen her in a tv show before, I know of her as my sisters love the show. But what I can tell you is that that does not matter at all that I don't know her or her work.
Her death is an example of how the internet has allowed us to exhibit shitty behaviour with no consequences.
Her death is a tragic loss regardless of anything.
I have one rule in life and that is treat others how you want to be treated. Which means, if I don't want to be bullied on the internet, then I Don't Bully On The Internet. If I don't want someone to critique my dress sense, then I don't critique. If I want someone to appreciate the hard work I do, I appreciate others. I lead by example of how I would like people to act (with kindness). I'm not perfect but I do the best I can.
But it isn't always that easy, people have this really weird impulse.
If you were bullied, after a while, you get in with the bullies and you start bullying because it happened to you, it should happen to other people right? You justify your shitty behaviour, even though you know it's wrong because it happened to you and you turned out fine right? Before I ask the real question, well did you.. really? Under the surface, did you turn out totally fine? Are you really not suffering as a result of that bullying?
I ask you, why you let your experiences kill your empathy. You know it is wrong but you don't stand up for what is right because and this is where it all is really, we are all Sheeple.
We are all part of the problem of this toxic cyber bullying culture. ALL OF US. Not just the media or the entirety of twitter. We are all responsible because we are like parrots, it is in our nature.
Here is a story, in around 2015 Taylor Swift got turned on my the media, at some point, it was decided she was a lying, manipulative monster. I remember turning around to people and saying, "yeah she's a psycho, I mean look at how many guys she has been through and she must have the best PR team ever to keep all of these "horrible incidents" out of the press".
Did it occur to me that maybe these incidents weren't in the press because.. they didn't happen? No! I just parroted what I read on facebook or what my friends said because I didn't actually think about what I was saying. Because my opinion is hardly going to affect Taylor Swifts feelings right?
Watch Miss Americana and then you can see the result of mass stupidity and hatred can cause on one woman's psyche.
I was the parrot. I heard something and I just repeated it, didn't really think about it, just repeated information. Even now, I find myself having opinions on people because of something someone else has said.
We just parrot things we hear on the media because the reality is, we are overwhelmed with information every single second of every single day. We don't have the mental capacity to process all of this information and actually assess if it is fact, fiction or if we actually believe it. Most of the time its subconscious, we will scroll past one shitty hate spewing article after another and our subconscious mind will assimilate it and form it into an opinion. This overwhelming amount of information and our inability to form an actual opinion of it means, we say shit even we don't mean too. Shit we don't think matters and we don't even stop for a moment to understand the implication of what we are saying because we are talking about people we don't know or we are talking about them behind their back.
We are all part of the problem because we give attention to outlets that spread nothing but hatred. Articles that focus on shaming everybody for anything and it not only ruins their life, it ruins YOURS! Because you see a new thing you should be ashamed about and then you feel shame if it relates to you.
Cellulite. Enjoying Sex. Wearing Bikinis In A Curvy Body. Being Too Skinny. Being Gay. Not Wanting Kids. Having Kids Young. Having Kids Old. Taste In Movies.
The list literally goes on forever.
Our culture is built around bullying and shaming because that is how we were all raised and let's be honest, that is how our humour is. We find other peoples humiliation hilarious. Now I am not here to tell you not to find something funny, you laugh at what you laugh at, I know as I have the darkest sense of humour. But what isn't funny is when bullying and shaming goes from being funny and lighthearted to malicious and cruel disguised as hilarity and I think we can no longer discern the difference.
Oh and when you can tell the difference and you say, "that isn't funny". Don't worry, you get shamed for that too. Not laughing at those body shaming jokes anymore because you know the impact jokes like that have cause not only on your mental health but others like you? Don't worry, you will be told that you aren't cool anymore.
We are conditioned to bully and spread hate, while we try and teach our children not to do it. What fine examples we set for them as we call celebrities Lazy for not losing weight after they had their 3rd kid. "Kim K did and you have enough money to pay for a personal trainer and chef so there is no excuse". Yeah, I have heard that one too and I ask, what gives us the audacity to have an opinion on someone else's life.
Celebrity culture especially suffers from deification. We see these beautiful airbrushed people in the media and we see them as omnipotent beings that can do no wrong. The second they show their humanity, we attack like vultures on a wounded elderly lion. The media leading the charge in tearing them apart, finding new and wonderful ways to shame and humiliate them.
I don't know about you guys but I quit this hate spreading culture a very long time ago and it was the best decision I ever made.
Do you know who Katie Hopkins is? In 2008, she was deemed the most horrendous human being for saying a bunch of racists, backwards, snobbish shit. I saw that and decided that day that she only says that shit because she wants attention so if we don't give her attention, she will just go away right?
So I ignored her for 10 years and you know what. My world became and better place. She may still be spewing but I don't hear it and I still treat everyone of all cultures and genders with kindness. Because I am not subconsciously having some dumb racists opinions being shoved in my face for my subconscious to assimilate into my rhetoric.
What do you do then to stop being a part of this hate filled, now murderous culture?
Here is my policy:
Don't say something about someone online or behind their back that you wouldn't flat out say to their face. If you think it is hurtful behind their back, it is gonna be hurtful to their face.
Don't by into or read any of this hateful rhetoric in the news. Ignore the news. It's a sad sack of crap and it only makes you a worse person.
Be kind, when you hear all this rhetoric of hate and bullshit, choose to say, I don't hear you, I speak for myself and I will always choose kindness and compassion.
Remember that all people celebrity or even assholes, are people and deserve empathy. Even if they are totally D Bags. You don't know what they are going through and your empathy of them is a reflection on you and the society you want to be apart of.
If you truly believe something is wrong, Don't shame other people for it. IT IS YOUR OPINION and therefore NOT A FACT. So Don't Shame Them For It. I am all for a casual disagreement but shaming someone for their life choices, abhorrent as they seem to you (like I don't know, being gay or vegan), just makes you sound like an uneducated idiot. Don't be an idiot. You're better than that. Debate and listen and if you still disagree, then so be it. You can't control their life and you have no right to do so.
If someone is a craphat that says controversial negative bullshit to get attention, ignore them, walk away, make new friends. You can thank me later.
Kindness isn't that hard, in the words of my mother, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it. Next time you have a negative opinion on someone maybe stop and think, do I believe this? Is it kind? Is it REALLY truth? Or is it someone else's opinion that I am just spewing for attention or to feel included?
This hate filled culture is one of the leading reasons behind the ever increasing amount of mental health issues in the world and if you want to feel better about yourself and your life. Leave this toxic culture behind and live your damn life. Clean up your social media, make it a place of love. Get offline and spend more time doing things you love, with actual people. Get outside and with every step into the sunlight, leave that old identity behind. Evolve and become the next stage of human and help create a society that lifts people up, instead of pushing them to take their own life.
And the next time you pass an article online shaming somebody for something totally normal, unfollow and block. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain and hopefully, together shitty hate spreading news outlets will all die out.