It would be hard to find someone who doesn't deal with anxiety on a daily basis. It infects us, plays on our doubts, fears, insecurities and losses and makes us doubt ourselves and our safety. We all get anxiety, so I wrote a list of all the things I do to combat anxiety and how to be battle ready. Not all of these will work for you, sometimes I mix and match them but if the day is going to be a hard one and the anxiety is rooted in something I cannot control, this is my practices and my Armour. Facing anxiety can often feel like an unwinnable war and it isn’t, we just need better tools to best handle it so hopefully, these will help you as they help me when times get too tough!
The point of this article for you to build your own Battle Plan. I want you to create your own list of things you can use to fight your own anxiety. This is my one, take as many as you want, add your own! Comment on what you would do! Make your plan so that when anxiety comes knocking, you can pull out your plan and systematically move through it.
Here Are My Top Tips For Handling Anxiety
Accept that you feel anxious
Start by accepting you feel anxious, don't deny it, don't try and fight it. You feel anxious and that is okay. You have a good reason to be anxious, even if it seems stupid to someone else. It is real to you and it is justified.
Identify
First thing you need to do is identify what causes your anxiety. This is not as easy as it sounds, the root cause of anxiety is often deep rooted and there are many distracting weeds hiding the main stem of your anxiety flower. The best way to do this is to start asking why.
Why are you anxious?
Distraction weed!
Why am I anxious about this distraction weed?
Distraction weed no. 2!
Why am I anxious about this distraction weed?
and so on and so on until you get to a resolution like:
I am anxious because I can't control this and feeling out of control makes me feel unsafe.
A lot of anxiety comes down to things you can't control like other peoples feelings about you.
Remind yourself that the only thing you can control is yourself, your reactions and your actions, everything else is out of your control so focus on what you can control and build from there. Knowing what the cause of your anxiety makes you feel safe, that way you can control it.
Handle Your Problem
Be a rhino, if you have a problem and you are avoiding it, like a difficult conversation or the source of your anxiety, handle it. Face your biggest fear and deal with it so the anxiety can't control you anymore. You are bigger than your fears, they can just shout a lot louder because you have chosen to listen to them instead of the other voice that cheers you on and stands up for you.
You don't have to do this alone, once you have worked out what is causing your anxiety, get some help. Ask for support and prep yourself for a battle because it may feel like you are walking into a battlefield, so come prepared with support and an arsenal of gratitude and self love.
Know What You Can Control
Understanding you can't control the uncontrollable, it is not within your power. You can only control yourself and your actions so focus on what you can control. In the words of Olaf “We're calling this controlling what you can when things feel out of control”. Olaf gets it.
Meditation
Before I hear the Jade, I don't meditate, my brain is too busy, it is chaos, sitting with my brain is impossible. I hear you, I really do, I have heard every Oh I can't do that because I secretly fear my own brain under the sun. But i want to give some alternatives to just sitting and humming and clearing your mind because that has never worked for me and it isn't what I mean by meditation.
There are several options with meditation, it just means letting your brain chill out and not be constantly subjected to over stimulus. We are always doing more than 3 things at once and were constantly being bombarded with sound, light, news, information and chemicals that we are overwhelmed. By meditation I mean to take a moment to stop, close your eyes, block out the visual stimuli and focus on your breathing so your brain can relax and not be constantly flexing.
Ways to do this:
Guided meditations on you tube are great or an app you can download for free on anxiety
Walking with music, no signal, just you and the open road (this is my form)
Undisturbed video game time (seriously, focusing on one thing, had many people tell me this is their meditation)
Breathing practice, just sitting closing your eyes and breathing, 3 seconds in, hold for 3 seconds and breathe 6 seconds out. 10 times.
A Nap. Yep, take a mini nap to avoid all the endless screens and information being thrown at you.
Find what works for you and find what makes your brain relax and make that a priority for 10 minutes a day (the perfect length for a guided meditation). You don't have to do it everyday, not everyone has time but if you are struggling, make the time.
Aromatherapy
This fits in really nicely with meditation but aromatherapy is an incredibly powerful tool in the fight against anxiety. If you want more information on that, here is a link to another post on the power of aromatherapy!
Reduce Your Caffeine Intake
I had to give up coffee after I realised I was extra anxious after I drank a coffee and it broke my heart. I love coffee. It puts me in a really good mindset of Yes, I Can Handle Anything because I got a coffee and a bad ass attitude. But it was also making me really anxious, cripplingly so. When I gave it up, I had to give up that mindset habit but I also have up a life of unnecessary anxiety. It was worth it, without question, even it hurts.
Mantras
Mantras are surprisingly powerful, I always thought they were a bit out there and not for me, I am a methodically thinker, more analytical and mantras are just a bit hokey. I thought that until I got some and then I realized how powerful they are.
I have a mantra specially for anxiety and that is, You Can't Stop Me, I Can Do Difficult Things.
This actually has a story behind it. You Can't Stop Me is a mantra I heard listening to a Tai Lopez podcast and it just kind of stuck with me, I related to it, I wanted to be unstoppable. Then when I was faced with a real stressful moment that I had to quick think my way out of potentially going to a Thai prison (seriously, don't overstay your visa) I was problem solving my way to raising my find money (as a poor traveler, not so easily done) before I missed my flight and this voice just whispered in my ear, You Can't Stop Me. And I felt super empowered and I was like YEAH YOU CAN'T STOP ME, I AM A PROBLEM SOLVER, This Is My Jam. 20 minutes and £500 later, was sat eating donuts with my new book waiting for my flight.
The second half I heard on a Justin Sua Podcast where he says the Mantra, I Can Do Difficult Things and I heard that and it took me back to that moment on the border being threatened with imprisonment. It took be back to all the moments I was faced with a severe stressful situation and I defeated it and I just went #Relate. Now whenever I feel that level of anxiety, I fear that voice in my head and it empowers me to handle anything because I have already fought so much, I can handle whatever comes my way.
Find a mantra if you haven't got one already, it is more likely to find you. Something will stick out to you, something you heard, something to read and it will remind you that you are strong. When you find it, write it down cause you may forget and then every month, write it down again. I have 5 now and I kind forget what they are from time to time. Having mantras are like setting intentions for who you are going to be. I am going to be Unstoppable, Self Loving, Full Of Worth. They may feel silly to start with until one day, it will be the secret boost you needed.
Affirmations
Utilize affirmations like:
I am safe
I am strong
I am in control
I can take this one small step at a time
Anxiety does not define me
This is only temporary, this is not forever.
These can be important for grounding you and making you feel calm. Find a affirmation that speaks to you and repeat it like a mantra. Remind yourself that you are safe.
Journal Out Those Feels
Journalling isn't my strong suit but when the anxiety comes and all those overwhelming crushing fears, doubts and self hate come knocking, you have to get them out of your head. ASAP.
I have wrote another blog post on how to process out your feelings which I strongly encourage you to do as much as I can. Go check that out here
This is SO HELPFUL to helping you deal with you anxiety aka All Your Fears. This is one of the most powerful things you can do to help you handle your anxious feelings.
But I also want to encourage you to journal about all your other feelings, anger, happiness, what is going on, why you are annoyed. Get everything out, don't keep it in your head anymore, it is like you are collecting little pebbles of sadness and putting them into a basket on your head. Eventually, the basket gets too heavy and you can't go on. Put the basket down, take each pebble out and throw it into the river. Move on.
There are many alternatives for this for example, if you are a more verbal person, you can talk it all out. I am not the vulnerability type so I prefer to express myself without fear judgement into a safe space. You can find a friend you trust or a therapist, someone to listen as you blurt out all your truth while feeling safe.
Exercise
Exercise releases these chemicals in your brain:
Endorphin: Endorphins mask physical pain and promote feelings of happiness.
Dopamine: Dopamine boosts our mood and makes us feel great. It contributes to the feeling of accomplishment and elation from completing a task, achieving a goal, or winning in a game.
Serotonin: Serotonin boosts our confidence and makes us feel awesome. It also supports a sense of pride, status, and gratitude.
Oxytocin: Invokes feelings of love and loyalty. This chemical drives us to be around people we like and trust. Oxytocin is produced through human touch and acts of kindness or generosity.
We are BIOLOGICALLY built to enjoy exercise. Exercising = Finding Food in our DNA so our body rewards us for exercising. Use this natural biology to your advantage. Do a couch to 5K. Try a spin class. Play basketball with your friend down the street. Start power walking! Get moving, get that heart rate up and use it to your advantage to handle stress, improve your mood, increase your confidence and help you feel more abundant and in love with life.
Eating Veggies and Naturale
I am a huge believer in what you put in your stomach, affects your whole life and this is based on years of experience. If I eat shitty processed food a lot, I feel shitty. It is the same for deep fried food, it is delicious at the time but then I want to rip of my skin off my face afterwards. There are so many chemical in processed food it will bring your everything down especially with the amount of sugar they put in food. We all know that sugar is deliciously bad for us in large doses.
I am not saying, go Paleo, cut everything out, only eat carrots. I am saying for your main three meals, eat natural foods. Switch out cereal for overnight oats or eggs and bacon. Switch a shop bought sandwich for a homemade soup or a healthy sandwich with leaves, colors and seeds! No more microwave instant meals, pizzas, start making your own dinner and make it fun! Cooking is easy if you follow and recipe and practice. If you are lazy like me, get a slow cooker and throw everything in a pot to cook over the day!
Eat delicious snacks, if you like a chocolate bar, eat it! I am not saying cut out delicious things, that will only make you crave processed food more. What I am saying is focus your meals on eating fresher, more colorful and more vegetable and less beige. When you look at your meals you will find it alarming how beige you eat.
Also, I realize it isn't cheap by buy better quality meats or lower the amount of meat in your meals and up the veggies! The meat you eat affects your body so make sure it's the nice stuff.
Final thought: Your taste buds have a 3 week shelf life, after 3 weeks of eating healthier, you will be able to taste more, cravings will die down and you will be able to listen to your body who will be craving veggies and fruits!
Remember, these aren't applicable to everyone, pick and choose as you go!
Ask Your Anxiety The Real Question
When the adversity comes knocking and my anxiety gets heightened, I try to solely focus on what I am suppose to learn from this. How am I supposed to grow? What is this trying to teach me? How am I going to get stronger from this. Focusing on the lesson alleviates suffering, just for a moment and helps you focus on the good, the growth, the meaning. It isn’t just Unfair. Stops me having victim mentality and forces me to see adversity as my friend, who challenges me to level up so I can become the person I need to be in order to achieve the things I want to achieve. This is scary and challenging, I can’t do it to This is scary and challenging, how am I going to survive this and grow strong. It also helps me focus on the end, see the big picture, this won’t last forever.
Get Outside In Nature
This one is so so so important, getting outside into nature really really really helps with anxiety. We are animals, we are suppose to be in nature. In the rivers, seas, forests, canyons. We are built to run around outside so embrace your humanity and get outside for a walk, swim, dance, stretch. Get Outside and spend time in the beauty of nature!
Battle Mode: Dress Fierce
I did not learn the power of this until recently. I had to go and face the source of my anxiety, out of my control and it was eating me up and today was the day. We would get a resolution and move to the next stage of either resolution or conflict.
I put on my favorite outfit that makes me feel fierce and strong.
Golden makeup so it was like full Body Armour and finally, a power braid. These are new to me, strong braids but I put on everything.
Put on my sassiest shoes.
Filled my bag with emergency stress relieving equipment (for me like a few crystals and maybe a stress toy)
Corrected my posture so I stood up so I felt strong and intimidating, like nothing was going to defeat me and it felt super empowering. If you are going to face one of your sources for anxiety or go through a difficult moment, dressing up fierce for the occasion was very helpful. I felt like I had some control even if I didn't. I couldn't control the outcome, what was going to happen, it was in the hands of other but I could control how I showed up, how I presented myself, how I reacted, acted and behaved. I chose to be confident, calm, collected and strong, even if I felt like I couldn't breathe all day.
Music: Keep The Beats High
Motivational music. I am a big believer in what goes into your face, affects your life. If you sit scrolling on Facebook looking at memes complaining about how shit life is, you're gonna think life is shit cause you #Relate. You choose to focus on the negative because it is constantly going into your head. Same with the new, if you sit and absorb all the negative news, you will feel negative, stressed our and afraid we are all going to die and the world is garbage.
Make sure what you put into your mind (the food of your mind if you will) is as healthy as your dinner plate. Don't binge watch crap, watch and listen to stuff that is positive, teaches you growth and makes you feel empowered. Start with Lizzo, find a positive playlist and get going. Cardi B is my favorite for empowering music to help my hype up and handle my anxiety.
Equally, you may prefer calming music, I do like putting on these Youtube 3 hours meditation background music videos, they are really calming. Have a look here, they are really soothing.
Celebrate Yo Wins
You have come through so much, survived so much, remind yourself of that. You are brave, you have fought many battles so celebrate the life you have lived. Focus on your accomplishments, what you have achieved, all the wins you have. They don't need to be big, they can be, I got out of bed today (that can be big!)
Pain and struggle are completely subjective and therefore, you cannot compare your struggle to someone else. Focus on yourself, reward yourself for defeating your demons and winning your battles and remind yourself of those victories. They will help empower you to face the next adversity that comes knocking.
Practice Gratitude
Hello, my name is Jade and welcome to my Ted Talk. Gratitude to the key to switching your mindset from lack to abundance. Which means, it takes you from a place of it isn't enough to I have so much. Practice This Every Day. Start an Instagram channel, get a diary, lie in bed and think of three things you are grateful for. It is one on the most life altering activities. You can tell when I am anxious, my gratitude channel blows up and I post 10 images at a time.
Practice it daily, find a way to remind yourself of all you already have and that you are safe. Reassuring your safety is really important, it will help with the fear :)
Read Constructive Books On How To Handle Anxiety (see Grow Yourself Book Club List)
I have a Book Club list for you to help you learn more about what is holding you back from being happy and chill! Click Here For Book Club.
No. 1 Book for anxiety is Calm by Fearne Cotton. It is Three Pounds on Amazon. Go get it.
Get a Plant
This one feels weird than it is but I love me an anxiety plant. It sits there and says, hey, I am alive, life is good and you are not alone. It is just something that protects you from all the bad energy. Go get yourself a friend, Plant Pal if you will. Name it, like Prudence, I have one called Turnip and one called Teapot.
Crystals
Now, I want to chat about this because this is more about science than you think. Now, I dance with the spiritual community, I love their lessons and I believe that as human animals, we should be in nature more. So I take lessons from the community and ground them in science and I want to talk to you about my love for crystals because, if I get a crystal to help me with anxiety. it isn't about the crystal having magic powers, it is about the idea that something external is helping me. Its a psychological trick that makes me feel like I am safe because something has my back, I don't feel alone. It could just be a pretty rock but I applied a purpose to it. That is why I use crystals because they come with a purpose assigned already, all you have to do is go pick one you like! I also have shells that I found on the beach, pebbles I picked up on the road. I find things, assign them a purpose, the purpose is to help me feel safe and loved. Try it, doesn't have to be a crystal. I will say this, most people who come to me, I do appear at some point with a crystal. You know you are my friend if I give you a tigers eye because that protects. I have never met a person who has turned around and told me this is garbage, besides my boyfriend, he doesn't care for my crystals. But everyone I give a crystal too, they feel safe, Not because a crystal has magic powers, but because someone told them that this will keep them safe. And their brains went, Okay, I feel safe and supported and I will channel that energy and look for things to feel safe and supported. All I am doing is just making my reticular activating system to search for the positive and not the negative.
I'll add to this with my and I shit you not, this works for me. I never thought it would but I got an anti negativity candle and I am obsessed with it. When the going gets tough, I light the candle and I feel so much better. Just because my brain is working the placebo effect, I am getting medicine even if it is doing nothing, it works in my brain. That or it really is a magic candle but either way, if you are interested in a magic candle that solves all your problems, here is the link!
Faith
I want to talk about faith for a moment because I don't mean become religious.
When we are anxious, we are caught up in the moment of unknown and fear of the future. Having faith brings you back into a safe space, knowing that something greater than yourself is protecting you.
For christians, it is God. God has your back and he is keeping you safe.
For some people it is the universe. The universe has your back, it keeps you safe, if you want t book, gabrielle bernstein's book the universe has your back is excellent.
For atheists, I call it perspective. I ask you to think bigger than yourself right now. This moment, this adversity is a spec, an insignificant dot in your life. When you are 80, this won't matter because this is just a spec. Compared to the whole planet, the universe, the complexities of life. This is nothing. So have faith that it all works out, like it has for out your whole life. You have experience anxiety before and you can through it. So have faith that it all works out in the end and know that no matter what the future holds, you can handle it.
Reconnect with your faith that you will be okay and that you are protected by something bigger than yourself.
Triggers
Identify what triggers your anxiety. Something is causing it go off, start nothing when you start feeling anxious, what happened, who was it with. The more you know about what sets off your anxiety, the better you can deal with it. either by avoiding it or learning to deal with it.
Breathing Technique
This one I don't do so much but I know when I feel overwhelmed, I try to stop and breathe deeply for a few breaths. Focusing on that is like a mini mediation just a moment for me to mentally say Slow Down There Brain, I see you playing out the worst case scenario and I understand but don't worry, we can handle it. Slows down the panic crawling up my throat. Here is a breathing pattern that James the wizard taught me.
Breathe in for 3 seconds, hold for three seconds, breathe out for 3 seconds.
Do that 10 times.
Then repeat but with 4 seconds.
And so on until you feel better.
Vitamin D Supplements
These just add a little dose of happiness to your day. A friend recommended this one to me, it isn’t something I use but a little dose of sunshine can’t not help!
Art It Out
Paint out your pain and struggle, create art based on that. It is another form of meditation, focus on that one thing, just paint, let whatever comes out, come out and it is okay. Get creative! Make candles, start knitting, paint, draw, craft! When I was young I used to collage! Reconnect with a craft and art it out!
Ask For Help
Don't be afraid to ask for help, if your anxiety is really getting to you. Ask for help, talk it out with people. Don't keep it in. Find reassurance that you will be safe.
Mostly Importantly,
Stay connected. Don't run away from people. Reach out to your friends and ask for support, they will be there for you.
When I have really intense days and my anxiety feels out of control, I do all of these things to help regain a footing on the battlefield because it feels like a battlefield. All you can do is stand there with all of these fears and panic swirling around you, overwhelming you and telling you that you aren't good enough. So this is my arsenal to fight against the anxiety, I hope you enjoy it and use some of them to help you when the wave comes for you. The best advice I can really give you is actually military advice.
“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Know yourself and know your enemy. Know how anxiety works, how it operates, what triggers it. Discover every aspect of it and then when it comes, you will be ready to out maneuver it.
I have never been here to tell you what to do or how to do it. I am here to tell you what I do, I made a huge arsenal and I do all of these if my anxiety gets bad, like really really bad. Sometimes I don't need too, sometimes a little mantra or a journal is all I need but I refuse to submit. I will always fight because I don't want to be anxious. It isn't easy, it never will be. But I can try.